1. While talking among different sex's women tend to want a meaningful and intimate conversation, where men feel as if talking does not maintain their independence and status. When woman speak with men they show that they are actively engaged in the conversation by talking more. Men commonly listen more than they speak, and when they do speak they like to voice their opinions so it seems as if they only care about themselves. As for nonverbal communication, woman are more compassionate and show it often. For example, if a friend says they were sick then a woman might consul them by putting their hand on there back, rubbing it and wishing them better health. If this situation arise between men, according to Tannen they are more likely to dismiss it and move onto another topic. Woman and men pursue very different objectives in conversation and they reveal it a lot in verbal and nonverbal behaviors.
2. Men and women pursue different objectives when they have conversations. Women tend to talk about other people, or problems they have, while men tend to talk more about games or stuff that isn’t as deep. These differences reveal themselves in verbal and nonverbal behavior by how men and women respond. Women tend to want more “mhmms” and “yeahs”, while men are more silent, even if they do agree with you. In Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Conversations”, she stated that because men and women do not communicate well, divorce rates are up 50%. Women get frustrated when they feel like men do not listen to them. However, men could be listening, but because they are not responding the way women want, women do not know that they are listening. When women speak to each other, they look each other in the eye, giving each other their full attention. While men on the other hand, then to look around the room, and not focus on each other as much. If men and women could just sit down and learn how to listen to each other, I feel divorce rates would go down, and we would have a civilization that better understood each other.
3.What different objectives do men and women pursue in conversations? How do these differences reveal themselves in verbal and nonverbal behavior? Women have different approaches than men when it comes to conversation. And these differences contribute to the difficulties couples or members of the opposite sex experience in communicating. According to Deborah Tannen, this difference comes from how men and women are raised and how relationships are developed in childhood. While men base their communication on simply spending time together, women are more focused on the intimacy of conversation, developing connections through shared ideas and feedback. Men on the other hand, rely less on conversation and more on action. This takes men on a different path than women and in later years, develop into the differences they have in communicating. In non verbal behavior, men listen differently. An example of this was mentioned when a man, in order to listen to his partner, closed his eyes and laid down to listen to her words. The woman took that completely different, and wanted to be looked at when she was speaking. Both in word and action, men and women differ, yet their intentions are similar, they wish to be heard and do actually listen to their partner speaking.
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