Peer Reviewing the Narrative
The peer review/feedback for the narrative will differ from the other paragraphs we will write this semester. Your narrative should contain the following elements:
• orientation - Is there an orientation? Do you know where the person is located and what he/she is doing?
• sequence of events - Is there a sequence of events? It's usually chronological.
• dialogue (two people talking) - Are there 2 people talking to each other, and is the writer using the correct format for dialogue?
• a resolution - Does the story end? Does it feel like it should end, or do you feel you are left hanging?
These are the elements you will use for peer review this week.
Thank goodness I’ve been found,” Sara said. She had been at the shopping mall with her family and had gotten separated from them. Well actually she had decided it would be fun to hide inside of the racks of clothes. It was like playing hide and seek, but no one came looking for her. It seemed like hours that she had been looking for her family, but couldn’t find them. Sara’s mom did not realize that Sara was hiding, and thought she was right behind her. When she looked around and didn’t see Sara she began looking for her. She began calling Sara’s name, hoping she could hear her. She frantically began looking down each aisle and around each clothes rack, calling Sara’s name. When she finally found Sara she was right where she had left her. Sara was sitting by the clothes rack, quietly crying. “Sara,” her mama called to her. Sara flew into her mama’s arms. They were both so happy to see each other. “Why did you not stay with me,” Sara’s mama asked her. “I thought it would be fun to hide inside the cloths rack, “Sara told her mama. “Well you can see that it is not a good idea to play hide and seek at the mall,” Sara’s mama told her. “Yes, I see that now mama,” Sara said. “Well stay with me and lets go find your brother and daddy, then we will go get some ice cream,” Sara’s mama told her. Sara was so glad that her mama had found her and she learned that day that there was good places to play hide and seek, but the shopping mall was not one of them.
You have got to be kidding me, Jackie, he didn’t do that I know. Her reply was as calm as ever, “Yes he did girl in front of all my coworkers.” The last couple of months Jackie had a feeling that her boyfriend Thomas was up to something strange. After five years together he all of a sudden became secretive, and started spending more time at “work.” Jackie would call me late at night, and she would be crying about how he hadn’t made it home yet. I tried to assure her that there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong; trying not to let her onto the fact that I already knew. Because I was the woman that Thomas was seeing late at night. No, it’s not what you’re thinking, we were ring shopping. Thomas came to me with is spectacular plan to proposal to Jackie at this year’s Christmas party. I willingly made myself unavailable for the party, so that I could hear the excitement in her voice when she called later that evening. It was just past midnight when my phone rang and I knew who would be on the other end.
“Hey Jackie. How was the party?”
“It was interesting and exciting I must say.”
She said it in a funny kind of way. I was confused as to why she was acting in such a nonchalant manner.
“So tell me what happen? Every year you have something to talk about and tonight you’re like blah.”
She laughed so hard; I could see her dimples through the phone. “Girl, she said pausing for what seemed like forever, Thomas made me the happiest woman ever tonight”
I was ecstatic by this time, and I asked “How girl, tell me how?”
“She said Thomas went to the band and requested “All of Me” by John Legend, and took the mic and began to sing. I almost melted in my seat as he began to walk in my direction. Then he got down on one knee and proposed.”
You have got to be kidding me Jackie? I said. He didn’t do that I know?
“Yes he did Amber, in front of all my coworkers, and I said yes through my tears. I will be Mrs. Thomas Johnson soon. Oh, thank you for lying to me these last few months, it was worth it.”
I couldn’t contain my laughter, I said he wasn’t supposed to tell you that part; however, you are more than welcome and I’ll do it again to make my friend happy.
She said you did make me happy friend and I love you for it. I got to go, I must finish enjoying the rest of my evening
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